Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hermaphrodite: Susan Boyle??

""Why should I? Why should I change? Particularly my identity." - Susan Boyle

Boyle was born to Patrick Boyle, a storeman at the British Leyland factory in Bathgate, and Bridget Boyle, a shorthand typist; her parents were Irish immigrants. The youngest of four brothers and six sisters, of whom only six survive, Boyle was born when her mother was 47. The Sunday Times writes that it was a difficult birth, during which Boyle was briefly deprived of oxygen. She was diagnosed as having learning difficulties, which led to bullying at school. She was labelled "Susie Simple" at school but learnt to overcome those who derided her.

By now at least 30 million people worldwide (roughly the same number who view the Oscars, or the Super Bowl) have watched an extraordinary clip from a popular UK show called "Britain's Got Talent." A dowdy, 47-year-old virgin named Susan Boyle takes the stage, wearing her low heels and her Sunday best. The crowd laughs at her, and Boyle - how devastating - laughs along. She says she wants to be a professional singer; people laugh harder and louder. They point. It's grammar school and the Roman coliseum combined. Simon Cowell - panelist and show creator - rolls his eyes. And then Susan Boyle sings.

In the past five days, Susan Boyle has been invited to appear on Oprah, interviewed on all three network morning shows and covered by news outlets all over the world - many of which have descended on her hamlet, where she lives alone with her cat, Pebbles. She is the favorite to win the competition and it's likely she'll sing for the Queen. Cowell will probably sign her to his record label.

But there is something disturbing about the collective rejection-embrace-elevation of Susan Boyle. There is the element of self-congratulation in the viral spread of this link around the Web, the idea that we, the secondary viewers, the judges of those who are judging, are far more evolved. There is the clip itself, suspiciously ready-made for online consumption: A 7-minute movie, slick and pithy in its perfect execution of the underdog narrative. (That something like "Rocky" took two hours to tell now seems antediluvian.) There is the classic David vs. Goliath subplot, the primal satisfaction of seeing the bully (Cowell) slain by such a seemingly inferior force. And there is the profound desire for this entire thing to be authentic, which in and of itself suggests that it probably isn't. Not since P.T. Barnum has there been a show business master of the trompe l'oeil like Simon Cowell.
Susan Boyle, a 47 year old contestant, gave her first ever televised performance on 11th April 2009. Immediately after her performance, her viral video circulated in the internet and recorded 2 million views; a number that is still rising. The anonymous life that Susan has led so far has finally ended as she is meeting with the officials of Simon Cowell’s Sony BMG label. Her journey to fame is one of the brilliant examples of the power of online video distribution.
Susan has been approached by many makeover companies to update her look and turn this plain Jane into a Hollywood hottie (on the house, of course). Despite many offers, Boyle has politely declined.

"Maybe I'll consider a makeover later on," she told the London Times on Saturday. "For now I'm happy the way I am — short and plump. I would not go in for Botox or anything like that. I'm content with the way I look. What's wrong with looking like Susan Boyle? What's the matter with that?"


  1. Kimberly F. BabyyApril 22, 2009 at 3:20 PM

    She's probably not a hermaphrodite..just ugly.

  2. She is definately an hermaphrodite. There is no other explaination for this chick to be looking that damn manly. She has definately got alot of testosterone in her system. I bet this bytch is strong as an ox. She probably was labeled as a boy but started changing her gender. Anything is possible! Duces

  3. i don't think a person was born ugly. They were birthed through incest, which eventually gave them an "odd" look.

    She look like a manly wrestler!

  4. She look irregular!

  5. That is one fugley womb man.